flying cows and stolen kisses

2012-01-24T17:24:00.000+08:00

I am in big, big trouble.
And who's to blame?

ME.
The one and only me.

I cannot believe it. I had everything going for me and I just threw everything away. For the sake of what? Loneliness? Love? I highly doubt if it's love. Even if it was, I highly doubt if it would last.

Only Ode knows what I'm talking about and she's not even taking things seriously. I'm just trying to find a solution to the problem.

A problem that I caused. That I started. That I am going to end. I hope.

People are starting to judge now. They have no idea the things that I've gone through with him. Then again, I started this whole thing.

I have to end it. Some how.

Hello 2nd year!

2011-09-20T02:01:00.000+08:00

I cannot believe that I'll be starting my second year soon. I'm actually pretty excited about it.

I'm so excited that I've already got a list of things that I would like to achieve this semester:

1. ACTUALLY SLEEP BEFORE 12AM every, single, freakin' day
2. Get in AT LEAST 1-2 hours of studying time every weekday.
3. Gain muscles, especially around my hip area, and lose the fats there too. (Cause it sucks when people tell you that you've got a huge hip.)
4. Actually learn how to say NO, especially to random people who ask for my number.
5. Improve in Ultimate
6. Serve more in the CF in different areas.
7. Lose fats
8. Lose fats
9. Lose fats
10. ... You get the point.

And I lost my bike. Whoopdeedoo.

love,
Zoe

when Harry met Sally

2011-06-15T08:17:00.000+08:00

You disappoint me.

I don't think I can go on any longer.

collide

2011-05-05T03:35:00.000+08:00

Exams are just around the corner and I thought I would revive this dead blog of mine at 3AM in the morning.

Yes, I still am as random as ever and, no, I haven't moved on to create any new blogs, yet.

Life just got a whole lot busier and I pretty much realized writing sad, depressing stories about how miserable my life is, isn't that cool anymore.

.. Or you could say I grew up, in someways at least.

Ever wondered how someone's life was before you met them? Those thoughts haunt me all the time. It's not like I want to think about them. I just do.

Would you have enjoyed his or her companionship had you known that person, say 10 years ago?

I know we're not supposed to dwell in the past and all that, but I enjoy listening to stories about people's transformation, what made them change and all the other things in between.

It's interesting, ya know.

I reckon the most interesting one I've stumbled across so far would be the story of how a Vietnamese girl decided to become a Muslim and how it kind of changed the way she treated her parents and her thoughts.

Well, for those who are currently studying in Notts, I'm pretty sure you're all familiar with the girl. For those who aren't, ah, well, too bad.

I should probably get some sleep now. Early day tomorrow.

God bless (:

love,
Zoe

Author's note after reading the post:
Late nights can make your brain say/write things that don't exactly make sense.

2011-04-13T01:37:00.000+08:00

And I'll be here fervently praying and waiting on the Lord because I know that HE will provide, and HE will make it way (:

Rawr

2011-04-06T18:55:00.000+08:00

I dislike how people continuously remind me that there's going to be a scar on my face.

Gee.. DON'T YOU THINK I ALREADY KNOW THAT, smart ass?

So what if no one wants me anymore? I don't bloody give a damn so I don't see why you should either.

Please and thank you.

Love?

2011-03-06T14:49:00.000+08:00

There comes a point in time when you realize that there's nothing else you can do but trust and have faith in Him, and know that He will guide you through it all.

God, I need you now more than ever. If you're readin this, please help me.

Love,
Your daughter.

oh hey, valentine's day.

2011-02-13T20:43:00.000+08:00

When I grow up, I want to become the Minister of Transport.

I feel that we Malaysians have been ill-treated for far too long by ministers who do not give two hoots about our well being because they personally do not experience what we, the TRUE public transport users experience almost everyday.

I am pretty sure the Ministry of Transportation secretly shred countless complain letters that they receive daily cause, after all, ignorance is bliss.

Malaysia is not only home to the most epic fail public transport in the world, the COMMUTER/KOMUTER/KTM, Malaysia is also famous for its badly maintained public transports. I mean, have you seen the buses around town lately?

It's no wonder the accident rates are rocketing sky high.

Seriously. When I become minster, I shall make sure that I frequently patronize public transports to ensure that all of them are well maintained, efficient and sufficient for the users.

GARGH.

The point is, I am very unhappy with the public transportation system in Malaysia. Why can't we be more ORGANIZED like Singapore? I know it's bad to compare and the grass isn't always greener on the other side but Malaysia's public transports are seriously a big FAT Fail. Except maybe the LRT?

I shall drown my sorrows in an episode of Big Bang. Be happy, world!

God bless!

love,

Zoe

and I crumble completely when you cry

2011-01-26T21:28:00.000+08:00

I sometimes wish I didn't have to go.
I really want to stay here and hide from everything back at home.
Every time I go back, it's like I'm reliving my old life again.
Back to the chaos, confusion, manipulation.
And I am honestly terrified.

I don't want to go back there anymore.

If I could talk to all my memories, I would beg and plead them to go away.
To leave me alone.
To stop haunting everywhere I go.

Maybe, someday, I'll have the courage to stand up and fight.
And maybe that someday would happen tonight.
I don't know but I sure hope it would come soon.

Anyways, I'm supposed to line up to board the plane now.

Wish me luck (:

God bless!

With heaps of love,
Zoe

2010-12-05T17:45:00.000+08:00

Screw assignments,

Screw the printer,

Screw the ink on my hands.

Screw everything.

2010-11-09T18:22:00.000+08:00

I've just said "No" to NC.
So why don't I feel relieved, or even feel anything at all?
Everything still feels the same, like I'm still stuck in the same situation.
What's wrong?
Is it cause I won't be getting that RM100 back?
Or maybe because my brain has yet to register that fact.
I'm still trying to figure it out :/

God,
Please lead the way. I can't continue life being all empty inside anymore.
I have sinned countless of times and I am well aware of that.
Now change me cause I can't do it.

2010-11-09T00:26:00.000+08:00

Just knowing that you are there helps a lot.
But I doubt if you even know or understand how I feel.
Because if you did, you wouldn't have left.

Strike One.

before it's too late

2010-10-13T02:19:00.001+08:00

Just finished revising for tomorrow's Business Law A and I'm feeling pretty darn lethargic

Slept for a good 3 hours earlier this afternoon/evening and I highly doubt if I would be able to sleep well if I went to bed now. So, after giving it much thought, I've decided to revive my dead blog since Facebook is being gay.

BUT BEFORE I START blabbering on and on about the whatnot in my life, I just want to wish this super special person in my life a very happy birthday.

CUZZIE LEE KEL WIN!

Happy birthday, "SON".

You are officially older than your MOM.
Which is pretty weird if you ask me.

Heck, why am I even your mom?
That itself is funny (:

Oh yeah, sorry I won't be able to attend your birthday celebration tomorrow cause I've got heaps of things that I need to do. Sorry, son. You know that mom still loves you, right? :D Do enjoy yourself alright?

Now back to SERIOUS business and a whole lot of emo stuffs.

Here's a little something that's been running through my mind, over and OVER again.

Again I find myself back here,
Thinking about the better days.
Back when we were happy
and things were more than okay.

There would be days,
I'd just sit and contemplate.
Is this really worth it?
Should we continue pressing on?

I know you love me,
and I know that you care.
But somehow I don't feel it no more.
These feelings just aren't the same.

I remember tracking through the forest alone.
Wondering if you'd come for me.
But you never did.
You stayed back for someone else because you cared.

I wasn't scared when you left.
but I realized something that day.
That God would always be there,
even more so when you're not around.

So I sit and ponder.
Are you really worth hanging on to?
Do I really want this to work out?
Should I continue to press on?
Or should I just give it all up?

A part of me is scared that I might make the wrong decision but if I don't choose now, I might hurt both of us even more.

I dislike making decisions like these ):

Anyways, off to bed!

G'night world!

God bless,
zoe iloveyourmom lee

p/s: hey, don't get upset over this post alright? I'm sorry this is happening and I'm sorry I am unable to talk to you personally about this. I do love you. I honestly do.

2010-09-07T20:55:00.000+08:00

UGH.

Thank you so much for your honesty and for jumping into conclusions.
Screw you.

your song.

2010-09-05T19:55:00.001+08:00

What I used to think was impossible has now become reality.

I am absolutely disgusted with myself.
I should have stopped it when my instincts told me to.
Now it's far too late.
The deal's been sealed and all I can do now is wait.
Wait patiently until that day comes.
What is if doesn't?
How am I supposed to explain to him?

Why did I say "yes" in the first place?
Do I really want the same thing too?

Is it really my fault that this happened and am I the only one to blame?
I don't know.
I honestly don't know.

What I'm certain of is that I don't want to let this go.
You're just too real, too proportionate, too important.

Maybe it really is my fault for letting you in too quickly.
For allowing you to actually become a part of me.
I know we had an agreement and I am painfully aware that I broke it.

It wasn't intentional.
I tried to stop, to turn things around, but nothing helped.
All my thoughts led me back to you.
YOU.
I'm sorry for being selfish.
For wanting everything.
For wanting you.
With me.
Although I know how absurd and impossible it may be.
I still want you.

I love you.

wedding day

2010-08-08T22:14:00.000+08:00

I am desperately in need of something FUN in my life.
Not saying that Kuching is not fun but I've got too many responsibilities here.
PLUS, my house is a good 15 minutes away from town.
hence, making it a real big hassle for me to go out.

oh WELL.

I've got a speech due this Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. Mom wants me to finish all my CCs before I go back to KL.
(note: just in case you have no freaking eye deer what a CC is; it's short for Competent Communicator. The 1st title you get after making ten speeches in Toastmasters Club.)
So far I've only finished FIVE :/

Can't wait to watch ~~sea~~ SALT next week.
It's practically the only thing I'm looking forward to.
Yes, FML.

Two more Sundays until I go back (:
YAY.

God bless,
zoe.

2010-08-06T11:42:00.000+08:00

I want to get addicted to something.
Maybe then, the pain would stop.
Everything that's been bothering me would disappear.

2010-08-01T01:08:00.000+08:00

STOP CRYING, stupid girl.

It's not like he's worth your tears anyways.
No one is, and no one ever will be.

a cup of tea?

2010-07-20T22:25:00.000+08:00

I won't deny that I am scared.
Of love, of life.
The mere thought of me letting my guard down scares me.
What if they don't see things the way I do?

WHAT and IF.
Two words that must NEVER be put together

When I hear about people talking about their near death experiences,
I secretly wish that I too had a brush with death.
Maybe that would help me appreciate my life even more.
Maybe some sort of revelation would come upon me,
then I would finally be able to find my purpose in life.
Then I wouldn't be as lost as I am now.
As pathetic and as clueless as I am feeling now.

Maybe.

Sometimes I wonder how it would be like when I am on my death bed.
Would I be filled with remorse and regrets?
Would I be proud of myself and my achievements?
Would there even be people at my funeral?

I believe that we were all brought into this earth for a purpose and I will not rest until I have found and fulfilled that specific purpose that God has set out for me to accomplish.

Only then will I be able to rest, or rather die, in peace.

God bless,
Zoe (:

2010-07-15T11:29:00.000+08:00

I've been reading blogsecret ever since I got into the office this morning.
Yes, this is how superbly depressing my life is :D
My supervisor's not around today so there's no one for me to smile with.

He's actually a pretty charming and nice person once you get to know him better.
Funny guy actually tested me on Bill of Lading, Invoice, Insurance Form, and Certificate of Analysis yesterday.
He practically explained the whole purpose of all those papers that I've been filing since day one.
LOL.

rawr. I've been listening to nothing but slow, sad love songs since the start of the week :/
I'm blaming all these on work blues and the fact that I have to wake up at the unGodly hour of 6 every morning.
It sucks more than waking up for school.

Speaking of schools, I miss my friends )':

Quote/blogsecret of the day:

If there is one person in the world I could marry right now it’d be you ‘cause you’re so fragile. I wanna make sure no one breaks you.

I know I'm sappy :D

Y'all have a great day!

love,
zoe

2010-07-12T17:12:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to think that maybe, I really do like you, a lot, more than I intended.
It's more than sexual attraction, more than just skin deep.
It's more intense than anything that I've ever felt before.

Being away from you, yeah it hurts like crazy.
But through the pain, I've learn something extremely valuable.
Patience, forgiveness, trust, faith and most importantly, unconditional love.

I won't say that we would live happily ever after, without any cares or worries.
No. I finally understand that things just don't work that way.
Circumstances would always come between us but it's up to US, you and I, to decide how best to deal with them.
And I believe that with God's help, we would be able to go through all the ups and downs of life together.

I love you and I hope this post would somehow brighten up your day.

endless hugs and kisses,
zoe.

♥

2010-07-08T17:19:00.000+08:00

LOVE.

A word so strong, so powerful, it can bring people together, and tear them apart.
A word once said, can never ever be taken back.

How can you be sure that it is really LOVE, that you feel towards that certain someone and not merely INFATUATION?
How do you know that it IS love?
Have you felt it before?;
Touched it?;
Experienced it?
Honestly, have you?

"I just know it is" is never and will never be a good enough answer.
Love is so much deeper than that.
It is more than just a warm and fuzzy feeling inside, more than that song which reminds you of that special someone.
Love is more than anything your mind can comprehend.
Love is commitment, it is trust, faith in that someone.

So think carefully, contemplate and ponder before you profess your love for another.
Before you devalue the meaning of LOVE.
Before you hurt the other party.

God bless (:
♥

mirror.

2010-07-06T15:28:00.000+08:00

I stare at the girl in the mirror.
She stares back at me and I start scrutinizing her every move; the ways she looks; her physique.
A little too pale, I say aloud.
And her skin's too translucent.
Hips too wide and curves in all the wrong places.
Hideous eye bags, tired eyes, and a bad sense of fashion, almost none.

I then looked deeper, into her soul, to see who she really is.
She was sad, pathetic some might say, filled with contradictions.
Inner conflicts fill her mind,
Slowly consuming her little by little.
She may look happy and pleased on the outside,
but deep down inside, nothing is alright.

A mask she wears, to conceal the truth.
To protect her secrets from the world.
Things that no one should know.
And no one will ever know.

I'm supposed to be thinking about my 10 strengths. So far I've only found 2.

I am DARING and DETERMINED.

Is those even strengths? :/
I shall think some more before I go to sleep tonight.

Oh, and happy 20th birthday bra-dder Jake Lee.
You're old and you're going to Singapore )'':
You'd better make sure you study your ass off there.
Or else...
I'll tell Santa not to give you any presents d:

Off to do other random things in the office.

God bless!

love,
zoe

results

2010-06-26T16:37:00.000+08:00

SHIT.

exam results are coming out some time next week and I'm worried as hell here. I know I shouldn't be and that I should trust God but, it's just so hard for me to think straight at the moment. For one, I know I did not do well AT ALL in this exam because I was too caught up with the pageant.

If you think I am blaming the pageant then you're wrong. I am blaming myself for EVERYTHING. For no reasoning with my mom when I could. I don't regret joining the pageant. I've learn so many important life lessons from this pageant. It's just that I know that I could have done so much better but I couldn't cause I had too many things to do.

ARGH. This is just so depressing. I hope I won't fail any subjects. I must MUST try harder during my 1st year, 2nd and 3rd year. I must get Honors. I MUST.

Lord,

I don't doubt You. It's just that I'm really angry at myself. If I HAD given this exam my all, I wouldn't be in such a situation anymore. Lord, help me. It seems like You're so far away. I want to feel You move in my life again, to see You face to face, like how You showed yourself to Jacob. I love You, Lord. I want you to WORK and CHANGE my life. Use me and take me as I am to do all Your work.

Thank You for being my God.

love,
zoe.

God bless y'all!

contradictions

2010-06-20T00:53:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt like there's something wrong but you're unable to pin point what that something is? Well, whatever it is, it's definitely not a foreign feeling to me.

"You're just thinking too much" or "It's just insecurities", they say.

What if I'm not thinking too much? What if it's a sign that something is about to fall apart? That something has gone terribly wrong and it's a sign for me to let go?

Have you ever thought about things that way before?

As much as I want it to work out, I can't deny the fact that MAYBE, just maybe, one day, everything that I've put my heart and soul into will just fall apart, like a tower of cards.

Although no one can ever guarantee that it will never happen, no one can assure me that when it does happen, I will be able to get back on my own two feet and move on with life.

The uncertainties in life scares me, yet it's the very thing that makes life interesting.

So tell me, what should I do now?

God bless.

love,
zoe

2010-06-14T16:23:00.003+08:00

I just realized how shallow and empty my life is.

FML.

superficial

2010-06-14T16:13:00.001+08:00

Just having one of those days where you feel like your life sucks so bad, you wish you weren't born, AT ALL.
I honestly think that I need something to fill up all these free time that I have.
I need...

A JOB.

and a life.

I am currently angry at my mom and bro for leaving me at gramma's place this morning ): I know it wasn't their fault but I'm still pretty sour faced about it cause, well, I'm a lousy person. That's why.

I keep telling myself to grow up and think like an adult but I can't. I'm still doing the same stupid things I used to do two years ago. Sometimes I wonder if I'm suffering from some sort of defect.

Today I woke up feeling like I weigh a ton. I've never felt that way, well, in ages. It sucks to the max cause I have no idea how I'm supposed to overcome this feeling. Darn it. I'm on the brink of becoming anorexic again :/

Today. Today. Today.

Something's wrong with me and I know it.
Stop telling me it's nothing.
You're not me.
So stop judging.

If life was fair,
then why is there suffering?
Why do I feel so suffocated,
so empty inside?

off to read failbook and cracked in hopes to brighten up my day :D

God bless!

2010-06-11T13:19:00.000+08:00

Dear Gramma,

I heard you crying last night and it hurt. I really want to help you but I don't know how. It's frustrating to see you weak like that. You were never like that! What happened while I was gone? What made you so dependent? Why have you lost the strength to fight for your life? Why won't you even walk anymore? Why? I miss the old gramma who used to do Tai Chi and who always scolded me for all the noise that I made. Most importantly, I miss scarring you, gramma. I really do )': Please, please get better. I still want to tell you about my boyfriend and let you meet him. He's a really nice and sweet guy. gramma. He treats me well. Maybe one day I'll even get married to him. I don't know. But I really want you to be there when that happens. Please stay strong, gramma. It kills me every single time you whine and sigh about life. I love you, gramma. Please stay alive.

Love,
your granddaughter.

airplanes.

2010-06-09T00:51:00.001+08:00

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now.

Currently blogging on the roof of my house. It's a wonder how I managed to climb all the way up here with my laptop without accidentally dropping it and hurting myself in the process.

Yes, roof time= masa untuk meluahkan ke-emo-an and kesedihan yang terperangkap dalam hati.

I love you, Alvin Chia.
I truly do, and no one can ever take that away.
Sometimes, I worry that you might not feel the same way.
I don't deserve someone like you.

I hate the fact that I am such a sucker when it comes to love.
I hate the fact that I care so much when I don't want to.
I hate the fact that my mind somehow always remembers everything that YOU did no matter how hard I try to push it aside.
I hate the fact that YOUR PICTURE continuously appears on my facebook news feed when I'm upset.
YOU made me cry; and YOU still do, even harder when I'm upset.
I hate the fact that I can't get over the hurt that you brought into my life, no matter how hard I try.

It's annoying how I'm always lying to myself, telling myself that everything is okay when it's not.
I feel so useless.

and NO, i do not want to cut myself.
I just happen to like that picture.
Cause it reminds me of who I used to be, and the things YOU made me do to myself.
I was young and naive and you used that against me.
YOU manipulated me.
ass.

I pray that someday God will take this hatred and pain away from me.

God bless.

cacing kepanasan

2010-06-05T01:13:00.000+08:00

BOO.
I'm down with the common cold ): and I've lost all my appetite to eat.
Momma's been force feeding me lately, which is funny cause she's the reason behind my everyday appearance at the gym.
and, I just found out how selfish I used to be back when I was with my exes.
Yesh, I was some controlling, freaky beech a few years back, but not anymore.
Now I'm getting a taste of my own medicine.
But a whole lot sweeter.

I think I've been annoying Alvin a lot lately.
The poor guy has so many responsibilities on his shoulder he barely has time to rest.
I feel bad :D

It's great to be home and all but I'm starting to miss Uni a lot.
It's like I've got nothing to look forward to now.
No lectures, no exams, no assignments...
That kind of actually sucks.
I know, I know. I should be thankful and all that BUT trust me, when you've got 4 months of complete freedom, you'd feel as aimless as I am now.

Can't wait till I get a job!
Seriously! I've been overspending these past few months I felt so guilty after looking at my bank statements and account balance.
No wonder my mom said I was high maintenance.
LOL.

I NEED A BAD ASS BOYFRIEND WITH A LIP PIERCING.
Seriously.
I need someone whom my mom would disapprove over and over again no matter how nice he is to her.
:D

JUST KIDDING.

I'm happy with Alvin and no bad ass skater dude with a lip piercing can change that :D
Honest! No matter how punk or how emo he is...

Shoot.
I'm starting to sound like some brainless teenager.
Must be the cold and PMS.

AH well.
I should sleep :O

GOOD NIGHT WORLD.
Sweet dreams.
and God bless!

love,
zoe.

bump.

2010-06-02T22:44:00.000+08:00

youthinkyouknowbutyouhavenoidea.
trust me.
i feel like venting all my anger here but i know you'll read it and get the wrong idea.
i miss you.
i want you here.
now.
but i know that it's impossible.
so i shall stop dreaming and hoping. tomorrow.
or maybe the day after.

i truly despise myself right now.
for everything i've done.
and everything i'm about to do.
i want to be more mature.
to be able to make sensible decisions instead of stupid idiotic ones.
i just feel like kicking myself sometimes when i think of the things that i've done.

i know that i'm not supposed to criticize myself cause i am created in God's image and all, but i just can't stand my idiocy sometimes!
honestly.

Lord,
just help me through this. I honestly do not know what to do. I just want to escape from everything but that would just be stupid. I know that no one would be able to save me except for You. Give me strength to admit my wrongs and follow through with my decisions.

Amen.

God bless y'all.

exalted.

2010-05-27T01:53:00.000+08:00

Lord,

I know I have sinned against you countless of times already. You and I both know what I've done and I am truly sorry. I'm pretty confused about everything right now. My life, my future, EVERYTHING. I need directions, someone to lead me; a person to fill this emptiness in my heart. That someone is YOU, Lord. I need you, more than anything, more than my own life. Lead me and guide me. Help me and draw closer to me as I continue to seek Your face. Forgive me for all my sins, and for continuously sinning against You. I know that it is wrong, which make things even worse. I'm sorry, Lord. I really am.

Amen.

shortcomings.

2010-05-27T01:51:00.000+08:00

I'm having those nights again,

Nights where I just lie in bed and THINK about random things (not very good nor are they nice ones) instead of falling asleep, like I'm supposed to.

Tonight's random things mainly revolve around HER.

We've been through thick and thin together. SHE was my best friend until... I will never forget that day, ever. I truly did love her, as a friend. I never knew someone could hurt me so much so that I've got a scar in my heart, which still hurt every single time I mentally touch it. Somehow, I have a feeling that it will never heal, although I would very much like to think otherwise.

I remembered comforting her when she was upset and encouraging her to study and what not. She made me feel so appreciated, like I was her lifeline. It was something I have never felt before. I miss her companionship.

I remembered those times when she got pissed off at me for random things. I used to be so afraid that I might accidentally piss her off. Being her friend was like walking in a place surrounded by broken glass. You'll never know when you would get cut.

I know I'm supposed to put the past in the past but sometimes these thoughts just consume me from the inside out. The worst part is that I don't even know how to deal with it. Life gets pretty depressing and unhealthy too.

Macroeconomics exam has been haunting me for the past couple of days. I studied for it! I truly did! But during the exams, I don't know, my brain just stopped functioning. ARGH. I'm just so upset about it. I really want to get a distinction!

To top it all off, I can't find a place to stay. I NEED a place to stay. Won't someone give me a place I can call a home here, in this small town of Semenyih? :/

I hope y'all are having a better week than I am.

God bless and take care.

love,
Zoe.

paperweight

2010-05-19T21:24:00.000+08:00

Crying does help, a little, but it still doesn't change the fact that you're leaving to...
Heck, I don't even know where you're going YET.
I don't want to talk about it neither do I want to think about it.
But it just keeps coming back.
I know you'll only be gone for a year.
ONE RIDICULOUSLY LONG YEAR.
I hate you for making this so hard for me.
I hate myself even more for being so vulnerable.

Sighs.
I know it's hard for you too.
Still can't believe I made such a big fuss out of it earlier.
I've never cried so hard since...
Yeah.

ON A HAPPIER NOTE,
legal concepts was surprisingly OKAY.
I tembak-ed a lot of questions.
SUBJECTIVE questions okay!
Feeling so proud of myself now :D
*pats head*

Mom left for Kuching earlier this afternoon; gramma's in the hospital; I've got 2 more papers to go; and I'm leaving for home on the 1st of June.
Yeap, my post-exam time table is pretty much packed.
AND I have yet to find a house in TTS!

RAWR.
off for a jog.

i love you, mr candyman.

God bless!

love,
zoe.

a piece of my mind.

2010-05-16T20:17:00.001+08:00

It's hard to focus in math when you've got so many things on your mind.

I know that I am content, but why am I still feeling this way?

I know that I don't mind, but why do I still care?

I need to know that you can be there when I need you but you're not even here.

I'm trying not to let my feelings show and stand up tall but I end up falling instead.

It's not disappointment that I feel but sadness because I let everyone around me down.

I try to console myself with the fact that I managed to get this far even though I had so many circumstances placed before me, but it's not helping, AT ALL.

I don't want to whine and cry about it.

I honestly don't.

The pageant has taught me so much I don't even know where to begin. I've learn to rely on God's supernatural strength to guide me through everything, no matter what the end result may be. I've also learn that it is uncultured for one to use the "F" word as a sentence enhancer. Seriously, use some other word lah. F*** just makes you sound bloody stupid and RUDE. Trust me. I've been hearing it for the past few days and cringe every single time I hear someone say THAT word.

I've also learn how to be content and happy with the things that I've been blessed with, which actually made me really happy (:

ANYWAYS, I'm off to finish my battle with QM.

loves!

Zoe!

from the outside looking in

2010-04-28T14:05:00.001+08:00

I still think that you deserve someone better.
Honestly, I really do.
I know you get pretty annoyed with me most of the time and I'm really, really sorry for making you feel this way.
):
my self esteem's pretty low now.
I just don't understand how someone like me can actually be with someone like you.
It's just so bloody absurd!
and all those other nonsense in between.
bleh.

I'm off to study.

God bless.

Love,
zoe.

guess you'll never know.

2010-04-18T23:37:00.000+08:00

I wish I could tie you up in my shoe,
make you feel unpretty too.
I was told that I was beautiful.
What does that mean to you?

Sometimes, I wish people would just STOP commenting on how negative someone's outer appearance is like and focus on the good part instead. Is it really that hard to be positive once in a while? Will it kill to just BE NICE and say NICE things once in awhile?

You're not the only one with feelings. Other people have got feelings too. I'll admit, I used to do that too, but I changed. I'm sure you can too, if you'd only TRY. You'll never realize how much you can achieve by just trying.

I need to get back to studying cases.

God bless and take care!

love,
zoe.

oh oh.

2010-04-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

she wants to go home,
but nobody's home.
it's where she lies.
broken inside.

2010-04-07T23:31:00.000+08:00

To a certain someone who still thinks SHE is important in my life, well, you USED to be but not anymore.
To think I was just about to text you to tell you how sorry I am for screaming at you the last time we spoke.
Yes, I am talking about you, G******.
The G in my previous post was referring to a GUY in NOTTINGHAM.
NOT Kuching, Sarawak.

Harap maklum and I am really sorry for the misunderstanding.
I didn't know you were still as perasan as ever.

God bless (:

when depression sinks in.

2010-04-01T16:50:00.001+08:00

If I had a chance, I would like to fall into a deep, peaceful slumber.
To a place where no monster can bother me
and the things of this earth mean nothing to me.
Where competitions and sufferings cease to exist,
and all my problems are swept away.

To my little secret world.
My make believe.

Happy April Fool's.

acwl

2010-03-30T02:21:00.002+08:00

Hey love.
I didn't get a chance to see you today and yeah, I miss you a lot.
Trying hard to not to think about how my life would be like after you graduate.
I guess I'd really look forward to the weekends then.
Although I would only be seeing you for a few hours during church but it would be well worth it!

Just wanted you to know that you're the most awesome guy I've ever loved and I feel so blessed to be called your girlfriend.
HONEST!
I really feel like such a loser(in a good way) when I'm with you.
It's like you're too good for me and I don't even deserve to be with you :|
Anyways, I hope this post makes you go all soft and sappy inside.
:D
I love you, mr. candyman!
Thank you for showering me with all your sweetness and never ending love.

God bless!

love,
zoe (:

p/s: Abi, have I ever told you how good of a friend you are? Well, you're an amazing friend and I'm so bloody lucky to have met someone like you. Gosh, even my mom likes you and your mom! LOL. *hugs Abi tightly*

stupidity

2010-03-22T23:02:00.000+08:00

I wrote my 2010 wish list last night and I realized how empty and lifeless my life is. Jumping from one person to another seems like a norm for me now. I find that I get upset over the littlest things in my life (e.g. -look at my tag box and go figure) and I constantly wonder why people in my life are always leaving. Maybe it's just me and my over-worked brain or maybe it's cause I think too much.

I've hurt a lot of people back in 2009 cause of my lack of spine and insensitivity. If you're reading this and if I've hurt you before, I'm really really sorry. Just talk to me about it and I promise I'll try my very best to change myself.

There's this one very important person in my life who has been on my mind ever since he stopped talking to me. It's you, G. I'm really sorry for all the things that I've done and for unknowingly leading you on. You were nothing but nice to me and I was such a bitch to you. I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, G. I really am. I really wish we could have a do-over. I'm sorry, pal. I miss you.

love and God bless,
zoe.

2010-03-16T01:35:00.000+08:00

i feel so fat ):

2010-03-12T02:08:00.001+08:00

"The large, masterful figure looms over me, watching, laughing, spit collecting in the corners of his wide, hungry mouth as I split myself in two, his shiny boot nudging my hip, his hands creeping where they shouldn't."

I'm scared. I know I shouldn't be, but I am.

"As he kissed his wet lips down my face and neck and then began to shove his hands up under my shirt. I wept. I began to leave my body; I began to inhabit the air and the silence. I wept and struggled so I would not feel."

How does it feel like to forget? To not remember it?

"... I was the mortar, he was the pestle."

Maybe one day, my innocence would be given back to me.
Maybe one day, I would be able to wake up and say, "I'm okay."

Maybe.
One day.

yahweh.

2010-03-09T00:04:00.000+08:00

WARNING: Super girly post below. Reader's discretion is advised.

Why do you love him?
Well, I guess it's cause he's a really simple-minded person with the ability to brighten up almost everyone's day! I'm serious! The small, simple things he does for people or the stupid, lame jokes that he cracks have the ability to make someone's day. Did I mention he's a really sweet and caring person too? He is almost always there when I need him and he never fails to surprise me, be it intentionally or unintentionally. The best thing is that I am really comfortable with him (I secretly hope he is too) and he just naturally eases every frustration of mine. It's like every single time I'm with him, I feel at ease. All my frustrations just go away and I just want to be with him and only him (: Besides, he a really, REALLY interesting individual who thinks I've got a twisted sense of humor (I DO NOT!).

What makes this relationship so different?
The fact that I do not intend to hide our relationship from others show that I am ready for a relationship and I do want it to work out. I know for sure that this time, things would be different cause I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make it last. Besides, he's not like the others. He is capable of making mature decisions so I doubt if we would actually get into some major fight for no good reason.

Do you trust him?
I do trust him but not 100% yet. Trust takes time and he doesn't exactly trusts me too.

When did you realize you had feelings for him?
After we hung out a couple of times, I think. It was a pretty random thing actually. Like one second I was talking to him and BAM! I realized I didn't exactly looked at him as just another male friend anymore. Funny, ain't it?

What do u not like about yourself in this relationship?
I dislike the fact that I keep thinking of ways to express my love towards him. I don't like that cause it's so not me. Seriously. If you asked me to write a love note for someone 6 months back, I would've laughed my ass off and told you that it wasn't my thing and that I would only do that if pigs could fly. Well, I guess pigs can actually fly now.

OKAY.
I need to get back to Legal Concepts.

God bless!

love,
zoe.

with one voice we sing hallelujah.
all the earth cry out hallelujah.
with the angels sing hallelujah
Jesus Chris is King.

Glow- Hillsong

i miss you.

2010-02-19T04:28:00.000+08:00

I'm not going to lie.
You've been on my mind.
It seems like everywhere I go,
I see your face all the time.

Although it's been so long,
I still wished you were here.
To see how much I've grown,
After all these years.

Do you remember our late nights,
when we used to talk till the morning light?
Our special hand shakes
and all the other signals and signs?

The promises we made
and the songs we sang,
in your car,
on the phone,
behind your backyard?

Do you still think about me?
As much as I think about you?
Do you still care?
I miss you.

Over the years,
I try to be strong.
To move forward,
and forget about it all.

But I can't seem to put you aside,
these memories just won't go.
It hurts to know that you're not mine
and I can't let go.

Do you remember my cries,
in the middle of the night?
And how I wished you were there,
to hold me tight.

Do you think about me?
and who we once were?
Are these memories haunting you, too?
Deep down inside?

Do you remember our very first kiss,
in the morning mist?
And those long nights,
working till daylight?

Do you miss them?
Cause I do.
and I really want you to know,
that I miss you.

Maybe someday soon,
I'll find a cure.
For this never ending heartache
and finally move on.

But until that day,
I would like to say,
and I would always say,
I miss you.

inspired by:
Belle of the Boulevard- Dashboard Confessional;
Goodbye- Miley Cyrus;
and;
my amazing ability to over-think (if there is actually such a word) most situations.

love,
zoe lee.

the drinking game

2010-02-05T02:43:00.000+08:00

"So dim that spotlight, tell me things like I can't take my eyes off of you
I'm no one special, just another wide-eyed girl
Who's desperately in love with you
Give me a photograph to hang on my wall
Superstar"

I guess I went overboard with the drinks this time. Well, I only drank one cup of vodka + sprite. That wasn't exactly much compared to the amount I drank a few weeks back. Alcohol's seriously poisonous man. I NEED to stop giving in to Kami's pleas and stop with all the alcohol crap. I am clearly not a good drinker and I will never be one. Praise the Lord I wasn't drunk, just tipsy enough to puke -.- poor dude whose front drain got polluted by my puke. Hopefully it won't smell THAT bad tomorrow.

Mr Candyman, I know I let you down and I'm sorry ): I did not drink much at all and NOTHING happened. I promise. My friends and I were just talking crap and fooling around. You know very well that I really cherish what we have and I don't want it to end up in ruins. I promise I'll try my best to resist the temptation of drinking and stop being so soft-hearted too.

I miss you telling me that I'm reckless and immature. Please reply or call me ):

God bless y'all people!

love,
zoe.

great is Your name (:

2010-02-01T23:28:00.002+08:00

I'm finally back in campus!

After 3 super fun-filled days in Penang. The last time I went there was approximately 14 years ago to visit one of my aunt. I don't remember much from that trip though. Mom, bro, Glay, my big uncle, my 2nd aunt, my granduncle, grandaunt and I went over to Penang to attend Hun Yooi and Yee Leng's wedding, and boy was it awesome. I haven't been to a wedding in a very long time and I most certainly enjoyed this one (:

The wedding was set in a 5-star beach resort in Batu Feringgi (sadly not a beach wedding though) called the Park Royal Hotel. The view there was absolutely splendid! There was so many outdoor activities one could do there, Parasailing included!! Which I didn't get to try because NO ONE TOLD ME THE WEDDING WAS GOING TO BE HELD AT A BEACH RESORT so I ended up bringing a dress there instead of my swimming costume and sports wear. I went to the beach in a white dress too ): which made me look very out of place. OH WELL, at least I wasn't alone and at least we looked better than a whole lot of other people there :D I promise I'll upload one whole chunk of pictures once Glay is done editing them. This time, I mean it.

The first night we reached Penang, Glay, momma and I went wild. We went around the hawker center looking for various types of food and we ended up buying a whole lot of food including CENDOL (pronounced as CHEN-DOI. don't ask why), sa hor fan (I still don't know what that is), chee cheong fan, char kueh ~~tiao~~ teow, fried oyster, lum mee and a whole lot of other food which I don't remember. THE FOOD WAS BLOODY DELICIOUS. My mouth waters just thinking about it.

*5 minutes and a whole lot of drool later*

Again, the food tasted of pure awesomeness and because we were force-fed throughout the whole 3 days of our stay in Penang, I am now literally one big ball of FAT. I have grown so much horizontally that I have turned into one heck of an emo bitch who constantly pinches her tummy flabs ): sad sad sad. I'll blog more about Penang tomorrow. Need to get back to Business Functions.

Can't wait till mr.candyman comes back tomorrow. I've been missing that lozah ): ♥

God bless!

much loves,
zoe (:

new link and epistemology

2010-01-28T20:57:00.004+08:00

i've finally opened up my blog to everyone!
THAT IS if they actually manage to find my new link.
if you're reading this now, CONGRATS :D and thank you SO very much for being such loyal readers.
Yes, i suck as a blogger and i don't deserve such faithful readers like you (:
hugs
(psst! relink me, okay?)
I'm actually pretty happy with 'yourwhatever'.
and I'm ecstatic that I'm the first retarded/lame/bo liao person to come up with such a whatever-ed link.
all hail the queen of whatevers :D

moving on,
I HAVE MORAL STUDIES TOMORROW!
how exciting is that?!
AND, i haven't actually studied for it yet!
like, zomg, right? :D
It's not entirely MY FAULT.
I've been down with high fever, sore throat, cough and FLU too!
So, as you can see, it AIN'T MA FAULT d:
ALRIGHTY,
gotta get back to moral.

God bless y'all! and pray for my moral, okay?

love,
zoe (:

p/s: i miss mr. candyman! He's currently out with his friends, which is a good thing. That guy needs to get a life d: (i hope he doesn't see this. *evil laughs*)

OH, and momma and gla's in KL! YAY (: *jumps around* ♥

Jesus ♥ you and I do too!

walking on broga road.

2010-01-26T19:03:00.002+08:00

i did something really, REALLY stupid today.
i got really frustrated waiting for the bus so i decided to walk all the way from Semenyih town back to Uni instead.
the main reasons for my frustration was cause:

i was harassed throughout the whole 1 hour while i was waiting for the bus.
some arse decided to be nice and offered me a ride home and he wouldn't take no for an answer.
the bus was half an hour late.
i am sick and the sun was shining like a pot of gold.
i couldn't take it no more.

So YEAH.
as i was walking back to Uni, Wenn Shan and Priscilla saw me on the other side of the road. They made a U-turn and picked me up from Desa Amal Jireh. I was really touched and KIND OF paiseh at the same time cause I don't like bothering other people. Pris told me that it was stupid of me to walk back to campus cause it's unsafe and all. Plus, i was alone some more, which made things even worse.

Pris, Wenn Shan, and their other friend in the car,
Even though you guys won't be able to read this post, thank you so very much for giving me a lift back to campus. I'm so sorry for bothering you. Thank you. I'm really grateful (: and I won't do such a stupid thing anymore. I promise.

love,
zoe.

fire fall down.

2010-01-26T00:50:00.003+08:00

i wonder if anyone reads my posts anymore.
if you do,
do SHOUT in my cbox, okay?

i know i haven't been writing much and all.
been pretty caught up with UNI life.
it KIND OF sucks, btw.
I miss home, a lot.
especially now I'm down with the cold and all.
Alvin has been really sweet and caring as usual
but i'm KIND OF afraid that he might get sick and tired of me and leave.
i mean, he has so much going for him and who am i?
just some immature teenager who's obviously a waste of space.

ANYWAYS,
enough of sad stuffs.
i love my mr. candyman (: ♥
i can't wait for momma to meet him this Wed.
praying really hard that she'll accept him though.
HELP ME PRAY TOO, okay?

feeling really pms-ed now.
i will TRY to write more pathetic things tomorrow or the day after.
promise!

God bless!

lotsa love,
zoe (:

no more.

2009-12-31T00:53:00.002+08:00

Crying because I don't know what to do anymore.

God, please help me get through this.
I thought I'm over it but apparently it continues to come back and haunt me.
I don't love him.
I know I don't.
But why am I still crying?

Coming back here just brings back so much memories.
I just don't know how to comprehend neither do I know how to handle them.
It's hard to explain cause I doubt if anyone would actually understand.
I am over him yet all these memories still haunt me.

My phone keeps ringing off the hook because Zuhair still hasn't given up.
I'm not even half way done with my studies yet.
Math is such a killer.
And I just feel this intense pain in my heart.

Maybe this is why God sent me all the way to KL.
Away from all these pain that's been haunting me for so many years.
From all my nightmares.
To start a brand new life.

I've always told myself that when I come back to Kuching,
I would be a brand new woman.
One who is strong and determined.
One who is able to stand up on her own two feet and support herself without anyone's help other than God.
Why am I in such a condition now?
So fragile, so crumpled up inside.
I am nothing but dust.
Worthless and unwanted.

Maybe it is my fault after all,
for bringing all these pain into my own life.
Maybe I should have opened my eyes,
and see through everything.
All the lies; the camouflages.
I should have.
But I didn't.

I am on a journey.
A brand new journey to find myself, amongst these mess that I have created.
You can call me a bitch, a whore, whatever floats your boat.
I have reasons for my actions.
JUST LIKE HE HAD.
I am not accountable to you, or to anyone for that matter.
Only to myself, God and my other family members.
Who are you to judge me?
Who gave you the power to judge.
Unless God gave you an official letter stating that you are given the permission to JUDGE others,
DON'T.
Cause I'm not judging you either.
Stop staring at me with those eyes.
I wasn't the only one at fault.
Yes, I LOVED him.
And he broke everything we had.
He BROKE me.
Do you know my side of the story?
I know I may sound like some selfish bitch from his perspective.
BUT WHAT ABOUT FROM MINE?
Have you even heard MY side of the story?
Have you?
Do you know how badly HE hurt me?
How it feels like to be emotionally abused?
To be kicked in the gut?
To eat painkillers just to numb the pain he caused?
To be pushed down the stairs because you couldn't cook well?
To be manipulated until you lost sight of who you were?
DO YOU?
NO you don't.

I was faithful.
I was true.
I was honest and I actually TRIED.
I tried to keep things from falling apart.
I TRIED my very best to be the best for HIM.
I TRIED to be like that GIRL.
Did you know that?
NO.
He continuously talked about her when YOU guys weren't around.
He compared.
He COMPLAINED.
and I kept everything inside.
I hid everything from you.
WHY?
Because HE said that HE didn't want anyone to know.
HE said that people must think that we are PERFECTLY FINE.
and I was the coward who followed everything HE said because I had to be a good WIFE.
A WIFE!
Yet HE did not treat me like one.
For all the hurt that I endured,
for all the suffering that I went through for whole 8 months of our 'LITTLE THING',
DO YOU THINK I DESERVE YOUR DIRTY STARES?
Do you think I deserve to be treated like trash?

His sorry-s and pleas aren't going to bring me back to HIM.
I've had it with all these NONSENSE and I am moving on with my OWN life.
I have become stronger and I am learning to stand up on my own feet.
I have even met someone new!
This someone is ONE OF A KIND.
He appreciates me and actually LOVES me for who I am.
He does NOT compare me with His past girlfriends like your so-called FRIEND did.
He is HONEST and TRUE about everything.
He treats me well and keeps me safe.
He waits and NEVER grumbles.
He ASKS before he does anything and He takes things slow.
He is constantly there to remind me of God existence.
and most importantly, he is an answered prayer of mine.
A person that I have been praying for, for a very long time.
A person who genuinely cares and has the ability to brighten up my day.

To you, he may be just another man.
But to me, he is someone whom I can trust, one whom I can rely on.
Someone who is actually WORTH the extra mile.
Someone who loves me, too (:

♥.

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain

my plea

2009-12-26T02:49:00.002+08:00

what happened to being JUST friends?
Do you even understand the meaning of FRIENDS?
Why do you have to make me feel this way?
Why do you have to make me choose?
I can't choose.
I can't be with you.
No matter how much you want me to.
I can't.
You said you hate to see me cry, well, I hope you're happy now cause I AM crying.
LOVE is a four letter word that should be said ONLY when you mean it.
I highly doubt if you actually do.

Please don't do this to yourself.
Don't this to me either.
We'll both just end up suffering.

Dear YOU,

2009-12-20T12:02:00.005+08:00

They said I've gained weight.
Maybe it's cause I'm happier.
I don't have to starve myself for you anymore.
I don't have to try so hard to make YOU happy anymore.
I am seriously better off without you.
I USED to love you.
I USED to miss you.
I just don't anymore.
I'm sorry for hurting you.
You can tell everyone that it's all my fault.
Make everyone hate me, cause I seriously don't give a flying finger anymore.
I am happier and life is WAY better without you.
I hope yours is too.

You gave me too many restrictions, too little freedom.
Paranoia got the best of you.
And it nearly killed me too.
I remember cutting myself and screaming in my sleep whenever you were angry at me.
You were my own personal ghost.
One which would continue to haunt me, day and night.
Yes, everything was perfect.
But perfect just isn't right.
I lost myself in this relationship.

You were good in manipulation.
You twisted me in many different ways.
And I was your own toy; too foolish, too stupid and too naive to question your actions.
YOU were happy in that relationship.
I was left to suffer.
I was dying, drenched in my own pool of blood.
Yet you never came to my rescue.
Everything I sacrificed for you meant nothing.
NOTHING AT ALL.

I feel sick whenever I look at you.
YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS.
They have turned me into this BITCH that I am today.
Bitch.
That's what I'm called amongst you and your friends, ain't it?
Well, this BITCH has moved on and is no longer afraid of you.
Cry and scream all you want.
I'm not going back to the arms of a LIAR.
never again.

2009-12-02T18:12:00.002+08:00

HELLO!

yessss. it's been a very VERY long while since i updated this blog :D

life is good.

wait,

STRESSFUL :D

and i hate it.

Mr. Candyman's forcing me to invite him to read ma blog.

screw him :D

boo.

needa get back to ma uber depressing accounts.

nonetheless, I STILL LOVE ACCOUNTS.

BTW,

new blog!!

zoelicious.tumblr.com

I LOVE THIS LINK WAY MORE THOUGH :/

see ya (:

update!

2009-07-14T13:35:00.002+08:00

hello everyone!
I'M BACK! (:
Been crazy busy dealing with college stuffs and all.

Anyways, I've already started my classes in Nottingham Uni! It's pretty great I guess EXCEPT for the fact that I don't have WiFi in my room and the toilet in my dorm is kinda scary, like the ones you often see in cheap horror movies. Yes, those types. Plus, the air-conditioning system here is just as bad as the ones in Swinburne. Cold as hell man -.- I've met a couple of really nice people here so far. I'll secretly take their pictas and post them up soon, kay?

I MISS KUCHING A LOT.
cb.
Can't wait till Gia comes over in August :D
Yayyyy!!
and I'm most probably coming back in Sept too thanks to my roomies who are going back to their hometown.
There aren't many Kuchingites/East Malaysians here and the food is bloody expensive.
$4.50 for a bowl of noodles!
ah wells, at least it tastes good :(

Kamek mok gi library for library tour :D

God bless y'all!

loves,
zoe

*tingalingaling*
dammit. i feel so bimbo.

Aazean!

2009-06-21T14:28:00.003+08:00

since i can't blardy send a picture using my email, i shall just post them up here instead.

Sorry to bother you Jean :/

God bless! (:

broken promises

2009-06-21T14:21:00.002+08:00

I used to feel that way ONCE, a few years back. Now I'm feeling that same disappointment again. Is there really any end to this?

Anyways, listen to 'Let U Go' by Ashley Parker Angel and you'll get what I mean.

God bless.

tanpa

2009-05-28T09:32:00.002+08:00

tanpa, cintamu aku resah.

It's true kay.

i heart you (:

ER09

2009-05-24T22:44:00.002+08:00

Hiya (:
went to ER09 with Jaq, Gia, Annie, Julia, Sharon (right?), Gla, Glen coco, Gwen and Dani last night. It was pretty nice though, but not as good as last year considering the fact that they changed the venue. It was UBER hard to find parking space and, the venue wasn't big enough to fit all the youths but at least we did not get any drug addicts/drunkard problem this year. The preacher who preached last night (don't remember his name) was AWESOME. Seriously, he actually preached something which everyone could relate to, adults included. These were his exact same words (some what):

Come just as you are. Do not hide behind a mask if you want a miracle to happen in your life. If you want God to touch your heart. God accepts everyone, no matter how big of a sinner you may be, God still loves you and He wants to be in your life. Seek God. Do not wait for Him to look for you.

Christianity is a choice and I'm proud of the fact that I am a Christian. I'm sure all you Christians out there are proud too. If you are not then think of all the times God has been there for you. Don't you dare say He has never been there for you. If He was never there for you, then you would not be alive today. Praise God in every situation that you're in. GOOD and BAD. It may be hard to praise God when you're in deep shit but if you continue to pray and seek God's guidance, He will pull you out of whatever situation you may be facing. So PRAISE GOD for all He's done. PRAISE GOD for His amazing grace and His unconditional love. Finally, PRAISE GOD for forgiving and washing away our sins.

i ♥ JESUS.
told Gla something really REALLY important today and she was OKAY with it! Guess our prayers are coming true. PRAISE THE LORD (:

and OH!
i love you bum (: thank you so much for being there for me whenever i needed you. I still do and i always will :D

hugs, kissies and crosses,
zoe

2009-05-21T15:46:00.002+08:00

i love you.
this i promise you.

*hugs*

This is our God, Hillsong

2009-05-17T20:32:00.001+08:00

Your grace is enough
More than I need
And your word I will believe
I wait on You
You're near again
And you spirit make me new

And I will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And I will worship you here

Your presence in me
Jesus left them there
By the power of your word
I am restored
I am redeemed
By your spirit I am free

And I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at your feet
And I will worship You here

The feeling You gave it all for us
Surrendered Your life upon the cross
Great is the love brought up for all
This is our God

Lifted our life from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Certain the king rescued the world
This is our God

And I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at Your feet
And I will worship You here

And I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at Your feet
And I will worship You here

AMEN!

a prayer

2009-05-17T20:23:00.002+08:00

i don't care what they say.
i'm in love with you.
they try to pull me away.
but they don't know the TRUTH.

Lord,
Please help me through this trial. Help me deal with my mom cause i can't deal with her no more. I just can't. Give me strength oh Lord, and grant my mom understanding cause she obviously has none when it comes to certain things. I surrender everything onto Your mighty hands. I need you, Lord. Only You have control over all things.

love,
zoe.

gia (:

2009-05-10T15:18:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YOU

GRACE GIANINA GINNIE KON (:

i love you to bits!!

:D

love love love love love love you!!
wheeeeeeee~
thank you for everything that you've done for me babe.
and for sacrificing ur miri trip just for me.
i love you so much!!

hugs and kisses,
zoe

sunnies

2009-05-07T13:13:00.003+08:00

rawr.
annoying ass is outta my blog!
whooopie (:
finally can write every shi* i want without any worries.
LIFE IS AWESOME!

he hates me now btw.
and i do too so guess we're pretty even eh?

ANYWAYS,
needa go for innovation and change now.

i love SUNFLOWERS!
love love love.

*dances around*

LOVE YOU!

God bless!

love,
zoe (:

taggies

2009-05-05T21:48:00.003+08:00

1 Who was your last text from ?
liza the big fluffy bum

2Where was your default picture taken?
ma room.

3 Your relationship status?
it's complicated x)

4 Have you ever lost a close friend?
kinda.

5 What is your current mood?
sleepy

6 How many siblings do you have?
1 older bro!

7 Whats your brother(s) or sister(s) name?
jakeeeyyy

8 Where do you wish you were right now?
flying.

9 Have a crazy side?
don't you?

10 Ever had a near death experience?
sadly, yes.

11 Something you do a lot?
breathe

12 Angry at anyone Now?
yes. not only angry but annoyed too!

13 What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
i don't like no one.

14 When was the last time you cried?
i derno. awhile

15 Is there anyone you would do anything for?
yeap.

16 What you think about when you are falling asleep?
George Tan's english class and Miss Judith's Innovation and Change class :D

17 Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Gia

18 What is your favourite song?
Your Blood by i don't know who.

19 What are you doing right now?
this -.-

20 Who do you trust right now?
me, myself and i and of course some of my close friends.

21 Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
momma bought em' from Padini.

22 Have you kissed someone in the past week?
yes. my mom :D and gla too!

23 Who is your friend that lives closest to you?
Ode & CM!

24 Describe your life in a word.
blessed (:

25 Who are you thinking of right now?
when I'm with him I am thinking of YOU~

26 What should you be doing right now?
doing ma homework. pfft.

27 What are you listening to?
the news.

28 Who was the last person you gave a hug?
my mom? don't remember.

29 Who was the last person who yelled at you?
MY MOM -_-

30 Do you act differently around the person you like?
depends

31 What is your natural hair colour?
imma brunette!

32 Who was the last person to make you laugh?
collegemates

33 Who was the last person that made you sad?
adalah

34 What do you hear?
the news.

35 Is your hair curly or straight?
wavyy

36 Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" face?
er... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

37 Do you have a best friend?
yeap

38 Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
NO -.-

39 Do you use smiley face on your computer?
yeap!

40 Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
yesh. embarrassing man.

41 Are you happy with your life now?
yeap.

42 Are you currently jealous?
pissed off, yes. jealous, NO.

43 What jewellery are you wearing?
my heart-shaped necklace.

44 What are you doing on Friday night?
don't know. studying?

45 Have you ever had your heart broken?
kinda

46 Have you ever broken someone's heart?
yeshh.

47 Is there anyone you're really disappointed right now?
yeah.

48 What was the last reason you went for the doctor for?
cause i was sick.

49 How late did you stayed up last night and why?
12 something. was doing my assignment.

50 Have you dated someone longer than a year?
NOOOPE.

51 What do you think girls find most disgusting in a guy?
i think that girls find it disgusting when a guy farts in front of them. Even though we girls don't say a thing about it doesn't mean it's okay. You don't see us girls having a fart fest when you xy chromosomes are around, do you? And, it makes things even worse when you guys just laugh about it instead of apologizing and saying a simple 'Excuse Me'. I mean, is it that hard to say those 2 words or to control your fart? Geez.

i heart cucumber

2009-05-05T15:11:00.003+08:00

HELLO WORLD!

Liza is sad ):
why?
i derno.
ask her.
She's currently alone in the library.
STUDYING.
kononnya.
CHEER UP FLUFFY BUM!
don't be so emo anymore kay?
group 4 needs your gay-ness.
Pretty please?

just realized i can't watch ~~rumah~~ House on my laptop.
wtf.
I LOVE KELLY's Teddy Bear t-shirt!! :D
it comes with a hoodie too!
uber nice!

gonna go cheer Liza up now.

bye bye (:

God bless!!

love,
zoe zoe zoe (:

kasuma

2009-05-02T01:08:00.008+08:00

It's 1 something and I'm feeling restless. Did pretty much nothing today except going to Sab, vacuum and mop the floor, eat and lazing around the house which was AWESOME! I haven't been doing that for quite awhile since I started college :/ which pretty much sucks by the way. Thank God I've got super gay friends like Hui Na, Liza, Aida, Rina, Vonne, Alexis, Faus, ~~ONE THING~~ Wan Ting and everyone else from group 4 to keep me awake. Y'all make college life FUN-er. NOT during innovation and change though. It's pretty much impossible to stay awake during that class. Agreed? Sorry ~~Professor Mcgonagle~~ Miss Judith. (Please don't transfigure me into some weird creature. *runs away and hide*)

I've got an Economics exam coming up on the 16th. *gulps* Needa study extremely hard for it. I did pretty bad in my General Math. 17/20 ONLY. ~~wtf~~ Not saying that I'm not thankful for my marks, (hey, at least I didn't fail and all) I am but I know I could have done WAAAY better than a lousy, pathetic 17 if only I had focused on something other than the stupid mark-up crap. *grumbles* Oh wells, I'll make sure I do MUCH better in my next G math exam (:

Took a couple of candid pictas of my college mates last Thursday during class and recess/break or whatever you call that. Imma post it up real soon kay? Just BE PATIENT and WAIT :D

me is sleepy. Therefore me is going to bed.

Nite nite world!
God bless ~~America~~ the world (:

love,
zoe.

my SAVIOUR KING.

not in love.

2009-04-28T00:12:00.003+08:00

satu lagu,
tentang seorang perempuan.
aku tak dapat nafas,
apabila aku berada di sekitarnya.

aku tunggu,
setiap hari,
in case,
dia menggaru permukaan
dia tidak akan perasan.

Aku bukan dilamun cinta
ini bukan hati aku.
aku tidak akan membazir perkataan ini
tentang seorang perempuan.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.
i'm so lame i crack myself up.

Anyways,
God bless y'all! (:

i'msorrydee.itrulyam.

2009-04-23T00:33:00.005+08:00

Hello people!
I am currently web camming with Liza the lizard with a big furry tail :D
andd,
this is how our convo went~

[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
why are you dc-ing every minute
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
hahaha
I AM???
lousy connection
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
yeah o.o.. i thought you were doing that on purpose
who knows you wanna get someones attention. haha kidding
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
ugghh
like urs>>>
-.-

Starting a Video Call with (#) [b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> (R) {Shower} ...
End call (Alt+Q)

(#) [b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> (R) {Shower} accepted your Video Call.
End call (Alt+Q).

[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
what like me?? i didn't dc
bad connection
and you look so. hyper.
can't hear you talk too =.=... like. lagging
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
hahahahahahahahah
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
hahaha
so slumber
you enjoy webcamming don't you
stop biting
you bite everything dont you =.=
hahhaha
celaka
oh you're on the phone
DON HAVE DONT SHOW
haha
eh siapa that
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
my broooooo

[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
wah, so slumber he enter your room
bear bear
haha
yuck, germs
what the hell is that =.=
ooo i like snoopy
hahaha
who's on the phne with you?
wah, i can see you move very clearly. this is the first time ever
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
hahahahahahahhhahahahahahahhahaah
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
history in the making
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
sorry lorrrrr

wadcha up to?
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
eee.. always use same bottle
wash or not
haha
talk on the phone till like that.. what laaa
haha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
sry lah ho
streching
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
you like to talk on the phone don't you
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
stretching

sorry laa
yeahh
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
why semua sorryyy?? wht..
haha
like that nia no need to sorry laaaa
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
GOT k
use the disinfectant thingy
hahaahahahahh
and that to ma bottle
thingy
anddd
yehhhhhhh
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
so random you answer my questions
i have to think so much
hahhhaha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
i enjoy talking on the phone
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
i see... so clean le
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
i just washee ma hairrrr
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
what laa... so all clean
haha
OMG
you wear your barcelet to bed?
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
hahah
yeahh
why??
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
so odd o.o...
if watch in understand la
ahaha
you don't have to bite what you talk into you know
haha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
i dont bite
it
and sorry for ma cleavag
cleavage*
x)
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
what the hell...
i didn't notice till you mentioned =.=
hhahaa
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
it's damn hot kayyy
like wtff
aircond's on somemore
-.-
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
yes yes... whatever you say =.=.. i have no comment
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
16degrees
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
oh ya! that's what i wanted to ask. you sleep with air conditioning with barely any clothes on??
hahaha
that's enough????
haha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
yeaaaaaaahh
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
i'm sure the teddy helps =.=
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
ehh show me ur room

[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
bra
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says: I SEE BRA I SEE BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I SEeE BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
toilet
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
BRABRABRABRABRABRABRABRABRABRABRABRABRABRABRABRABRA
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
WHAT la
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
SHOW ME BRA
ahhahahaahahahahahahah
show itttt
x)
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
you have your own -.-
hahaha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
waittt
i wanna blog about this
woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
celakaaaaaaa!
NOOO1!
hahhaha
not the bra dammit =.=
hahaha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
hahahahahahhaha

ehh
move away from the lappie
x)
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
yesh?
why???
why you want me to move
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
just do itttt
lol
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
i need a reason
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
i wanna take picta of the bra
x)
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
hhaha
SHEESH
NOOO
sheesh
don't laugh at me!
hahaa
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
why do u look so pinky???
i look pale
and how's ur assignment???
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {Shower} says:
its the webcam
it does that
you look darkkkk
hahha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
i look emo yo
btw
show me ur bed
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
err.. at least its going places
yours?
yes, emo
haha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
x)
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
messy
haha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
hold on
needa getout
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
everythings a mess
haha
k
wow. nice view =.=
of your touchpad
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
helo
oooh
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
helo
haha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
sexay liza yo
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
whatttttt???
oh, another phone call
haha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
dun have laaaahhh
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
haha
oh, ,music?
haha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
cuse me
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
cuse me?/
excuse me??
brb
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
lol
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
haha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
i look emo
lol
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
yeah you do
emo doesn't have to be bad
hahhha
just don't start cutting yourself
what the hell!?
RIGHT.
haha
angel =.=..
smack it!
hhhaha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
what's that?
brbbb
needa start assignment
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
cod liver oil
not yet??!?
go do liau amoi
yes ys.. angelic =.=
why mine cannot.. haha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
lol
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
smack.
HAHAHAHA!!
it really flies away
hahahaha
midnight rampaage =.=
DELL!!
hahaha
omg that's just wrong
take the red one
haha

You stopped sharing photos

zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
lol
waittt
needa get out of the room
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
yeah?
alright
so many paper
that's a lotta cables =.=
dark o.o
nice view.
of your fingers =.=

Your Video Call has ended.

zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
oiii
lol

Starting a Video Call with (#) [b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> (R) {assignment} ...
End call (Alt+Q)

[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
ehh
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
ahhaa
if u want lah
lol
it's funnnn
x)

Messenger is not available right now. Please try again later. (0x80ef01e6)

zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
aw man
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
press wron
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
messanger got prob
wtff
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
hahaha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
lol
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
is it?
getting my call?

(#) [b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> (R) {assignment} wants to start a Video Call with you.
Accept (Alt+C) Decline (Alt+D)

[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
i kept the bra btw. muahahaa
yeah, messenger gila

You've accepted the invitation to start a Video Call.
End call (Alt+Q).

[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
are you alive?
haha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
i ammm
lol
ehh
messanger got prob lehh
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
yeahhhh
unless you wanna use sky-peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
=.=
haha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
cannn
zoegal@hotmail.com

Your Video Call has ended.

[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
done
haha
where are you
downstairs??
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
nope
in the messy room
lol
i call it the messy room
ignore the back ground
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
why are you there??
haha sure
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
i'm looking goooodddd
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
cool
hahahaha
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
i'm blue im in need of a guy
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
in need of a guy o.o?
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
me do assignment kayyy???
lol
nehh
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
boyfriend ahh?
zuhh ohh ee -change. changing. changed says:
that songg ahhhhhh
-.-
[b][c=7]L i z a [/c][/b]: >> {assignment} says:
chehh
my friends like to say that mahhh
hahaha
okok GO DO!!

2 girls, 2 laptops, 2 MSN, 1 very hot and boring night :D

Liza's my new mate and oh damn she's mighty fly!
wooooooooh.
i love Liza's *toots*.
LOL.
rawrs to u, my new found partner in crime (x

shall take more pictas next time :D

God bless y'all!

loveloveloves,
zoe (:

oh, i forgot to mention, I KEEP f*ing DC-ing.
the line was super bad i tell you.
what to do.
MALAYSIA boleh ma.
So boleh dc sesuka hati LOH.

Night night!

[Liza is accusing me of plagiarism. She's planning to sue me tomorrow in George Tan's class.]

oooh, i'm so scared.
=P

nite again y'all!
(this time for real kay. LOL!)

2009-04-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

Today was freakin' hilarious.
Witnessed two adults fighting after class. It was between this super fly lady and some balding man, both rich-asses. The lady was driving a Mercs and the guy was driving a new Camry. The whole fight started like this:
The man wanted to get out from the pick and drop spot in front of Swinburne so he kept honking at the lady in front of him to move because he was too lazy to reverse his car. The lady kept signaling the man to reverse but the man ignored her. Frustrated, the lady got out of her Mercs and started shouting who-knows-what at the man. If it wasn't for the security guards, I think she would have already hit the poor dude. He eventually gave in and reversed his car.

freaking funny man.
All these drama just because some guy refused to reverse his car. I thought adults were supposed to be mature and all but I guess not all of them are mature, eh?

OKAY. me gotta get back to ma ~~blardy~~ super amazing report.

God bless y'all (:

love,

zoe.

new blog skin!

2009-04-20T20:26:00.005+08:00

YAY!
I've finally got a new, happier looking blog skin to replace my ol' boring green and black one.
Ain't it pretty? :D
I'll miss the green balloon though.
Anyways, I'm currently addicted to this song 'Can't Break Through' by Busted.
Listen to it and you'll understand why.

damn nice rightt?
In case you have no idea who/what the f* is Busted, they were this really successful English pop band who spilt in the year 2005 when Charlie (the lead guitarist) decided to quit the band after joining another band named Fightstar, which isn't really that popular. YET. I think i blogged about Busted a few years back. I THINK. They're a gazillion times better than (gay) Jonas Bros. Seriously. JBs rely on their looks to gain fans but they guys from Busted actually have REAL TALENT. 'Nough said.

I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY ENGLISH ASSIGNMENTS.
God bless ya!! (:

love,
zoe (:

-my baby's a killa!

2009-04-20T19:41:00.002+08:00

together, we're going to prove the world wrong.
♥

an asshole.

2009-04-20T16:01:00.002+08:00

I hate RIBENA.
Poo drinks RIBENA too.
Stupid blackcurrant drink.
Poo is so blardy annoying, i tell you.
I can't even get poo off my sleeve.
Stupid retarded freako.

YES, this is how much i HATE you.
blardy asshole.
You're just like my own personal hell hole.
So, thank you, poo.
THANK YOU so freaking much.

2009-04-08T18:24:00.002+08:00

i don't wanna feel anything anymore.

I DON'T WANT ANYTHING ANYMORE.

i just feel like ripping my heart out at the moment.
maybe that's exactly what i'll do since you have no idea how much pain I'm going through.
I can't do this anymore.

apologize

2009-04-06T21:04:00.003+08:00

dear baby G* (you know exactly who you are)

I am so sorry for everything that I've done.
For being such a self-centered beech.
This song reminds me of our current situation and it helped me understand you a whole lot more.
I'm sorry baby G.
I really am.
I hope you'll take some time to listen to this song and find it in your heart to forgive me.
I'm so sorry.

Let Me Be Myself - 3 Doors Down

I guess I just got lost
being someone else.
I tried to kill the pain,
but nothing ever helped.
I left myself behind,
somewhere along the way
hoping to come back around
to find myself someday

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
to say that it's okay.
Tell me please
Would you one time let me be myself
so I can shine
with my own light.
Let me be myself.

Would you let me be myself?

'Cause I'll never find my heart
behind someone else.
I'll never see the light of day
living in this cell.
It's time to make my way
into the world I knew.
And then take back all of these times
that I gave in to you

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
to say that it's okay.
Tell me please...
Would you one time let me be myself
so I can shine
with my own light.
Let me be myself.

For a while,
if you don't mind,
let me be myself
so I can shine
with my own light.
Let me be myself.

That's all I ever wanted from this world,
is to let me be me.

Please, would you one time
let me be myself
so I can shine
with my own light.
Let me be myself.

Please, would you one time
let me be myself
so I can shine
with my own light.
Let me be myself.

For a while, if you don't mind
let me be myself
so I can shine,
with my own light.
Let me be myself.

Would you one time
let me be myself
and let me be me.

I'm sorry ):

love,
zoe.

little miss obsessive

2009-04-06T17:42:00.003+08:00

College life is so UGH.
the person who said that college=freedom obviously hasn't been to a Malaysian college... YET.
Life in college is so stressful I tell you.
The lecturers (especially the lecturer who's name just happens to be George Tan) keep torturing you by telling you about your FUTURE assignments and what not.
THANK YOU GEORGE TAN (:
i really appreciate u squeezing the brain juices out of me.

anyways,
the best part of college is of course the fact that i don't have to wake up at the unearthly hour of 6 in the morning, every freaking day.

I went for the JPA interview last friday.
Was a wee bit nervous but got over that after I prayed.
(thank you, GOD!)
A male interviewer tested our BM and i was like 'oh crap'.
I answered with all the 'umms' and 'ahhs' but at least I managed to answer the question while kissing our government and Malaysia's youknowwhat.
asked the interviewers shetloads of questions in return too :D

i've got an assignment due next week and I'm only half way through with my draft.
(i know, i know. Sorry lah ho! no inspiration mah what.)
anyways,
God bless y'all (:

love,
zoe

the Lord

2009-03-30T23:58:00.001+08:00

This month has been a really stressful yet blessed month.
God has been testing my faith throughout the whole month of March.
I was bombarded with different types of problems and these problems really strengthened my faith in Him and I'm happy to say that God is really great and awesome.
He knows what we want, and He will bless us with all that we want (as long as it's not illegal, and as long as we pray hard for it) and more.

So accept Him as your personal savior and trust Him
For He is the one true God.
(I don't care if i get arrested because of this cause I'm telling the truth)

The Lord will indeed bless those who believe and who trust in Him and I am where I am today because of the Him.

Give glory to the Lord, God of all creations (:

spm and God's faith.

2009-03-12T18:57:00.004+08:00

There is none like you.
No one else can touch my heart like you do.
I can search for all eternity long and find,
There is NONE like YOU.

There is none like our Lord Jesus Christ. He gave His life at Calvary just so that we would be free from the bondage of sin. He is truly amazing and wonderful. His love never fails and He will always answer our prayers as long as what we ask for is right in His eyes. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for all the blessings that You've poured upon us and also for your unfailing and unconditional love for all of us.

I love You, Lord.
You are my Shepard, my Pillar of Strength, and my Comforter.
I shall only look to You, and no one else.
I will always give thanks in every situation that is thrown in my way.
I will forever trust in You, cause you are indeed GREAT and AWESOME.

Praise the Lord!(:

2009-03-11T23:19:00.002+08:00

maafkan aku.
ku sakiti hatimu yang tulus.

forever and always.

2009-03-10T17:38:00.001+08:00

It rains in your bedroom,
everything is wrong.
It rains when you're HERE and it rains when you're GONE.
'Cause I was there when you said
FOREVER and ALWAYS.

you didn't mean it baby.
I don't think so.

what hurts the most.

2009-03-02T00:05:00.003+08:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

what hurts the most.
was the fact that I let you slip past my fingers.

sorry baby

2009-03-01T23:57:00.002+08:00

I felt exactly like this 3 years ago on the night of my bro's so-called birthday party. Except this time, I'm the one to blame.

I'm sorry.
That's all I can say.
You can choose to ignore me or kick me aside or whatsoever.
I just want you to know that I really appreciate you and I suck.
I really do!

Please forgive me ):

(you know who you are.)

reminiscing

2009-02-26T00:14:00.005+08:00

Life has been a bitch these past few days. Nothing seems to go quite right and I always find myself in a pool of my own mess. Sometimes when life gets tough, you just tend to sidetrack and forget all the things in life that really means something to you. I miss my -not so- carefree form 5 years and I'd give anything to relive those precious and somewhat crazy moments I shared with my dear friends and classmates. Although there were some bumps along the way, it was all worth it considering the fact that I have matured quite a fair bit after enduring the backstabbing and cat fights. Besides all the bitching around, I also found my true friends who, I'm proud to say are one of world's most amazing human beings. They helped me through all the heartaches, joy, pain and sufferings. They actually listened to all my problems, complaints and what not instead of shoving me aside like a piece of unwanted trash. These people gave me really good advice and well, let's just say that my life would suck without em' by my side. They've become my partners in crime and we commit truancy together during Moral and Business classes. It was damn fun kay. Gosh, I miss those crazy times when we used to camwhore like shit and play truth or dare using a 50cent coin just to pass the time at school. The most wonderful thing that they did for me was that they helped me celebrate my 17th birthday at Spring and Hock Lee. I was so touched that I cried after I reached home. These people are really wonderful and even though they ain't perfect and all, they're willing to accept one another and tolerate their flaws. How awesome is that? I am so blessed to have met such awesome people! Nothing in this world can ever take their place. Well, except God and my momma/bro and yeah. Anyways, here they are! The peeps who made an unremovable imprint in my life.

First of all:

CINDY and also known as DYDY.

she's a damn good listener but not much of a talker. Unless she's surrounded by people she's familiar with. Did i mention she's pretty too?

from left to right: dydy, me, Wellic-bitch and ~~kuku~~ suku tay :D
our drebar, xiao hai er/little boy (Lun Haw)

1. Donna 2. Anna 3. me 4.dydy

speak no evil- dydy
see no evil- obviously, me
hear no evil- Anna!

and lastly, the ever emo

~~VIVIANA~~ Vin Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

*sniffs*

I MISS FORM 5 A LOT. I wanna go back to school :/ life kinda sucks after SPM lah. You've got absolutely no clue where you're heading and the counsellors in various colleges ain't helping much either so yeah.

Going for some procession tomorrow with V, dy (i think), Wellic-bitch, xiao hai er and a few other people. Can't wait!! Dayuum.. I'm running outta things to write -.- Nite y'all! God bless always!

A 'friendly' reminder to all you 2008 SPM candidates: The results are coming out on March 12. I repeat, THE blardy SPM RESULTS ARE COMING OUT ON MARCH 12. If you're still in denial then go check the ministry of education's website, HERE or visit a shrink.

love,
zoe :D

vday

2009-02-14T14:02:00.002+08:00

RANDOM POST

was youtubing last night and i found this really, REALLY hilarious parody about the Plain White-Ts' song, 'Hey There Delilah' which was written and sung by Angel Beezy and ezekielwhore.

JUST WATCH IT and you'll know what it's all about.
TRUST ME (:

OH, and last night's Planet Shaker's concert was awesome. Like, woah! Ode, Van, Ron, Dick, Steph and I went over to Scoops after the concert. I ordered a glass of sour plum juice and it was sofreakingdeliciouslynice and cheap too :D (well, cheaper than the ice cream/gelato/whatever u call that).

I just got to know about this Alpha Course which is a 10 week practical introduction to Christian Faith and the course starts next SATURDAY at BETHANY CENTRE. Remember that kay. I hope that it won't clash with my work and all. If it does, then I'm quitting my job :D

before i forget,

HAPPY ~~freaking~~ VALENTINE'S DAY.

God bless y'all loads.

love,
zoe.

p/s: i have no idea why I'm writing this but JESUS LOVES YOU! no matter who you are (:

praise the Lor

2009-02-10T01:15:00.002+08:00

i just finished reading Psalm 62 and there was this one verse which I think we Christians should always remember.

my soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Amen to that! (:

we should always, always trust God in everything that we do. Whether it's in our work, ~~that freaking promotion that you've always wanted~~ relationships with others, exams and all the other things in life. No matter how big or how small that thing/problem/obstacle is, always remember to PRAY about it and just SURRENDER everything unto His hands. Everything happens because God wants it to happen. So gratefully accept every obstacle/circumtances that are thrown your way and always remember to GLORIFY God and PRAISE Him for everything that He has done is your life (good and bad).

God bless y'all and have a great day ahead!

love,
zoe (:

survey ka tag?

2009-02-05T23:42:00.003+08:00

1. What's your favourite card game?

→ UNO!!

2. Did you speak to your mother today?

→ yeahhh.

3. Where do you live?

→ inside my mummy's tummy :D

4. How many months until your birthday?

→ 10!

5. Where is your sister right now?

→ Godsis or what?

6. Who was the last person you called?

→ my mom?

7. Who's bothering you right now?

→ no one.

8. Anything you're giving up on?

→ him.

9. Who was the last person you gave your number to?

→ i have NO idea.

10. When was the last time you cleaned your room?

→ last week :D it's still clean kay!

11. Who would you say is your number 1 best friend right now?

→ Ode

12. How did you wake up this morning?

→ some ~~freaking bastard~~ called me on my house phone

13. What's the last bone you broke?

→ None

14. How many letters are in your surname?

→ Depends on which surname.

15. What are you excited about?

→ tomorrow (:

16. Do you curse a lot?

→ depends. is 'Chicken' a swear word?

17. Anything been heavy on your heart lately?

→ i think so.

18. Do you drink bottled water?

→ no! damn expensive kay

19. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?

→ 5 minutes ago.

20. Have you lost friends in the past years?

→ yesh.

21. Are you open about your feelings or closed off?

→ depends.

22. What's the last thing that made you smile?

→ i know, you know.

23. Last person you texted?

→ Aby!

24. Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?

→ do i have a choice?

25. Who do you tell everything to?

→ God.

26. Have you been to New York City?

→ i wish!

27. Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?

→ i hope so.

28. Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?

→ YESH.

29. Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to?

→ Sesame Land Playschool!

30. Do you know anyone addicted to anything?

→ yeap.

31. Know anyone who's been drunk recently?

→ hahahahahhahah. ~~ODE~~ OF COURSE.

32. Where is your phone?

→ on the floor.

33. What happened at 10:00 a.m. today?

→ i dreamt that i was bionic woman. WHEEEEEEEEEEE...

34. Do you know anyone by the name of Lee?

→ yeah.

35. When was the last time you cried?

→ just now.

36. When was the last time you saw your grandpa?

→ i never got a chance to meet the old guy.

37. What was the first thing you did when you woke up?

→ i answered the house phone.

38. How many and what kind of animals are in your house?

→ i used to have a dog and a few fishes but they all DIED.

39. When was the last time something bothered you?

→ just now.

40. Do you hate any of your ex's?

→ er.. NO?

41. What is your greatest accomplishment?

→ i have no idea.

42. Would you rather stay at other people's house or have them stay at yours?

→ either or (:

43. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?

→ she'll kill me if i mentioned her name here :D

44. Would you ever date anyone with tattoos?

→ sure.

45. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?

→ yeap.

46. Can you play any instruments?

→ the guitar!!

47. What do you miss about your past?

→ those carefree days.

48. Have you ever had a song written about you?

→ nope

49. Who are you going to tag after this?

→ anyone and everyone who wants to do this.

I LOVE ODELIA CHIN :D
(sorry LA i am famous for my randomness mah WHAT.)
she's one of those friends whom you'll stumble across only ONCE in your life.
this woman's definitely a keeper.

she is my bitch and no one can ever take her away from me.
*gropes Od's boobs*

God bless y'all (:

love,
zoe

FOU' SHIZZLE!!
(wtf does that mean anyways?)

CNY postt

2009-01-28T15:21:00.002+08:00

helloo y'all peopleee (:

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR or shall i say 'Xin Nian Kuai Le'.
sorry for going on an indefinite hiatus but i'm back now so...
HELLO again!
anyways, Susu's currently at my place and we're currently waiting for the arrival of Her Highness Princess Fion, Her Highness Princess Agnes, His Majesty Prince Jesse and His Majesty Prince Joash.
(people, hurry up!! :D)
anyways, i KINDA dislike CNY now cause i don't get that much ang pao anymore :/
dayuum do i miss being a kid.
and, i still can't drive!!
speaking of driving, i finally passed my TABLE TEST after 3 freaking tries.
my 1st mark was 39 (i stupidly took the test in english. I KNOW. damn freaking retarded.) and my second mark was 41 (3 words. W.D.F) and my 3rd and final mark was....
*drum rolls*
a whoopping 46!!!!!
i screamed like some chao ah kua when i got out from the exam room and my mom laughed at me (she also laughed when i told her i failed my last 2 exams-.-).
anyways, I PASSED!!
Yayyyyyyy.
*does a lil' dance*
ohh ohh,
remember to come over to my place!!!
i know it's kinda late but please, please try to come kay??
here's the map.
(and, i know it's too damn big but what the hell eh?)

AND, watch this movie called 'End of Days' or something like that.
it's SO FREAKING NICE.
like, seriously!
G thinks it's scary though.
(it's SO not scary kay G)
rawrrrr.
i don't feel like blogging anymore so i'll stop here.
bye y'all (:

God bless ya tons!

love,
zoe (:

p/s: Susu says bye too! and just in case you don't know who susu is, her real name's Susana Chew Hui and i love her to bits!!
*hugs and squeezes susu*

BYEBYE!

suicidal

2009-01-12T09:05:00.004+08:00

I feel so suicidal when I woke up this morning. I'm so lost and so clueless at the moment I just don't know what to do anymore. Had the urge to cut myself but I resisted that temptation of mine and got up from bed immediately after throwing my penknife away. I'm sorry for everything I did, for walking away when I was supposed to stay but I was pissed off and I needed to be alone. I wanted to be alone, away from all the madness. I just can't take it anymore. I know you've been through A LOT. I've been there too. You have no idea just how much I've been through and I'm sorry for not sharing about them. You never shared yours either. Well, maybe you did, a few times. I'm sorry and I just feel like shit at the moment. If you're reading this, I just want you to know that I'm sorry and that I just can't take it anymore. I'm sorry.

p/s- no worries. I am NOT going to kill my self. -.- GOSH, i am a Christian LAH ho..

2009-01-01T21:46:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 2009, peeps.

random post

2008-12-26T03:53:00.004+08:00

Sometimes people tend hurt you unintentionally and you feel like voicing out but you can't. It's a really weird and sad feeling. The weird part is that the person who hurt you is the person you love the most (e.g- your best friends) and you just can't tell them that the things that they do or their actions are hurting you because they might end up talking behind your back again, saying things like "she's just too sensitive!" and so on. It hurts more than a kick to the groin when your best friends gang up behind your back and start bashing you verbally and emotionally. So, what should one do when your best friends start insulting you? Cry? Sulk about it? Bitch about them behind their back as well?

Well, honestly speaking, i have no freaking idea as well. So, yeah. Tell me kay? 'Cause I'm completely clueless. (gosh, what a dumb blonde moment.)
*pauses and thinks*

O.o

Anyways, it's 4:27 AM and I'm still up writing that freaking college application essay. My neck, my back and my eyes hurt A LOT. This had better be worth it. Anyways, i gotta continue writing that essay of mine if not my mom is so going to come at me with a butcher knife tomorrow morning. God bless y'all! (:

load'sa' xoxos,
zoe :D

taggie by Char

2008-12-26T02:26:00.001+08:00

tuhaageed by Char
According to your age (17), list down the number of things that most people don't know about you. And then tag 5 people.

1) i enjoy being alone
2) i do not have many true friends
3) i have a really bad temper
4) i suck in cooking
5) sometimes, i feel like I'm far away from God
6) i struggle a lot with life
7) my heart breaks every single time i see someone cry :/
8) i am tired
9) i have no idea what else to write
10) i can be really, really stupid and clueless at times.
11) i miss my childhood days
12) i LOVE bubbles!
13) yikes! i have a POOCH. oh gosh. O.O
14) i know something you don't :P
15) i enjoy sleeping. A LOT
16) i am extremely forgetful
17) people who make me cry are usually those whom i love and cherish the most.

I'll tag anyone and everyone who wants to do this tag.

-she's mine, mine.
all mine :D
<3

L word.

2008-12-13T23:14:00.003+08:00

I. AM. SO. OVER. SPM.

YAY!!
life's been pretty awesome i guess.
been going out A LOT recently and coming home after 9 almost every evening.
(my mom is so going to kill me once she comes home from KL and finds out about this.)

I am currently crazy about a TV series called 'The L Word'.
it's super nice kay and SHANE McCUTCHEON is so effing HOT.
like.WOAH.
seriously.
just LOOK at her picta.
damn hot kay.

went to Swinburne today and took the Aptitude Test at the library.
got 25% for Artistic (which is obviously a mistake cause' i am SO NOT artistic)
23% for Enterprising (i get cheated by others easily KAY. this is obviously wrong too)
and 21% for Social (no complains about that)
then Eggie's sista drove us to Spring!
saw this really, REALLY nice hoodie at F.O.S. I am SO going to buy it tomorrow.
Fuuu the human who gets to that hoodie before me.
it's green!
they've got blue and white ones too but that SOMEONE told me to get the green one instead.
hmm..

I NEED TO SLEEP.
gotta wake up early tomorrow morning for church.
nite nite y'all (:

GOD BLESS! :D

love,
zoe.

p/s: get well soon G.

SPM. spm. spm.

2008-11-27T15:57:00.004+08:00

Isn't it bad enough that I feel sucky?
Why the heck did you have to go and make everything worse?
WHY?
you weren't even there when i NEEDED you.

thanks a LOT.
(and, yes. i am VERY upset at the moment. PMS ain't helping either)

anyways,
3 more freaking subs to go

and

6 more days till SPERM's finally overrr!
(:

i hate y'all science stream students who finish 6 freaking days earlier than we do :P

God BLESS!!

:D

"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You."

Psalms 9:9-10

muse, muse, muse

2008-11-13T19:17:00.002+08:00

hellooo peopleee (=
SPM was awesome and I'm FINALLY FREE FROM THE BURDEN OF ~~bloody~~ SEJARAH!
english was alright and math was great!
BM paper 1 was OKAY but BM paper 2 was EASY (thanks to PBK tips and Keith)

OH, n
thou shalt NOT trust ANDREW CHOO.
all the BM questions he spotted didn't even come out!!
i knooow,
it's so freaking wdf man.
what a waste of time AND MONEY.
(his papers don't come cheap ya know.)

i'll be sitting for one of my toughest subs next week.
BIBLE and ~~bloody~~ MORAL.
God bless us all. O.o
i nearly failed my bible knowledge in my trial exams.
50 freaking marks nia.
oh wells.
gotta try my best this time.

was listening to Chris Daughtry's Over You a few minutes ago and a bittersweet-nostalgic feeling filled my heart and memories rushed into my brain. The event that took place on the 6th of July 2 years ago was still fresh in my head and that was when i realized that i'm still hurting and the cut that JERK made was still there. I didn't cry but i didn't exactly laugh either. I just sat at the side of my bed, reminiscing about those days.
gosh, what a stupid mistake.
:s
hopefully there won't be any wrong turns anymore.
i'm scared and scarred.

ANYWAYS,
i gotta start studying ma science.

just a lil something random to end this post.

MUSE MAKES ME HIGH!!
~~in a really, really bad way.~~
Matthew Bellamy's voice is SO FREAKING HOT.
and he's only 30!
*wipes drools with sleeve*

God bless and good luck y'all ~~SPERMS~~ SPMers.

zoe.is.so.gay.

'she said "alright, alright, slow down."'

forever

2008-10-07T02:48:00.003+08:00

It's 3:55AM and I'm still wide awake practicing Maths. Couldn't really focus in Sejarah so I decided to switch to Math instead so that i won't be wasting time. I barely finished form 5 chapter 2 man. Feeling intense pressure at the moment. Sometimes i just feel like giving up but luckily God blessed me with angels like Yan Hui, Kel and Aaron to keep me from breaking down.

I CANNOT WAIT TILL SPM IS FINALLY OVER!

i swear i will scream like a ~~big fat sissy~~ psychopath once this whole mental torture is over.

34 more days till SPM.
O.O

God bless us all.
(esp the ~~really, really unfortunate~~ ones who are sitting for PMR, SPM and STPM soon.)

I'll Worship at Your Throne
Whisper my own love song
With all my heart I'll sing
For You my Dad and King
I'll live for all my days
To Put a smile on Your face
And when we finally meet
It'll be for eternity

zoe (=

2008-10-01T23:43:00.002+08:00

ATTENTION!

STEPHANIE KOH CHIEW PING/WAFFLE!

woman!! where have you been? i miss you and ur dead PINK blog. meet me at 5A when school reopens kay? we've got LOADS of catching up to do :D

loadsa love from your ever loving skittles,
ZOE (:

randomized

2008-10-01T18:16:00.005+08:00

I was ~~wasting my time~~ pondering when a few faces randomly popped into my brain.

the first face i saw was none other than my dearest momma, Yan-Hui.

she is one of the few people whom i can share all my problems and struggles with. She has helped me through A LOT of things and she has most definitely brought me closer to Christ with all her lovely Christian messages.

THANKS MOMMA!!!! (=

the second person was Joash.

3 words.
TALL. SWEET. AMAZING. (and gila ANTM)
he is such a lovely, and i mean LOVELY friend and gym companion. He has encouraged and taught me to love myself. I now rarely have low self-esteem problems and it's all because of him!
THANK YOU JOO!!!

the next person was ODE.

(retarded ass holes :D)
my bestie boo forever and ever and ever! i love you mah whore :D thanks for everything that you've done for me! i LOOOOVE YOU! and yeah, you're awesome! (silversuns pickup is boooring :P)

the fourth person was Charlene BONG.

bongbongbongbongbong. she is such a sweetheart and my mom trusts her :D she brought me clubbing and taught me to drink vodka. i miss you lah! btw, it's IMPOSSIBLE for you to become THAT obese, kay. IMPOSSIBLE.

the fifth person was Gia.

Gianina is emo =P she is another sweetie. a really nice friend and Charlene's 'sista'. everyday malu malu jak this girl.

the 6th person was Joshua Voon.
(i sure dang freaking hope u'll read this)
one of the greatest bestie in the whole wide world. i miss you like mad dude. i'm sorry for all the things i did and i wish we could start all over again. i truly am sorry.

and the last person was Aaron!!

ron ah ron! you're such a nice guy :P i noe how much u hate me calling you dude so i won't call you 'dude'. So, i call you ~~gay~~ guy instead :D thanks for being such a greeat friend! btw, i miss your sister O.O

i have no idea why but i just wanted to say thank you for everything that you've done for me and for making such a wonderful impact in my life!

thank YOU
THANK you
THANK YOU!

okays, im off to ~~steal food from random Malay houses~~ do some Raya visiting.

GOD BLESS!! (=

emotionless?

2008-09-30T16:07:00.003+08:00

Tagged by sweetie Yan-Hui

The rules and regulations:
1. Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.
4. No tags back!!

1. i call my gramma's blanky gwamy smell cause it smells exactly like her.
2. i hate hate hate hate egg yolk!
3. i USED to slit my wrists and my thighs.
4. i absolutely hate PINK.
5. i have feelings for someone who will never ever feel same way about me.
6. something happened to me when i was young and it continued till i was about 14.
7. i have very, VERY low self esteem.
8. i was NEARLY bulimic
9. i am anemic
10. i am not afraid of lizards and insects. In fact, i love killing them :D
11. i get cold very easily.
12. i am worried about SPM (but i will trust and surrender everything to God)
13. i work well under pressure.
14. i think Theresa Leong is actually pretty nice. O.o
15. i was involved in a car accident when i was 5.

I tag:

any 10 people who wants to do this tag.

anyways,
CHRIS CROCKER'S NEW SONG!!

mind in the gutter.

Mind In the Gutter - Chris Crocker

and Britney's

WOMANIZER from her new album Circus.

Womanizer - Britney Spears

thoughts anyone?

say hello to baby (:
she's my new found love and i can't wait till i finally get a chance to use her :D

taggy by elyssa

2008-09-29T18:42:00.004+08:00

tagged by my lovely lover, Elyssa :D

Rule: The tag victim has to come up with 8 different points about his / her perfect lover. Have to mention the gender of his / her perfect lover. Tag 8 other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog. If you are tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again. Lastly, and most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.

8 different points about my perfect lover?
HMM..
*thinks hard*

He has to be FUNNY and interesting too.
NOT a control-freak
AT LEAST 175cm tall.
able to get along with all my friends (esp. Ode, Nur, Waffle...)
a SKATER!
a ~~rich ass~~ Christian/God-fearing man
someone i can relate to and who is able to tolerate and withstand all my flaws

and last but definitely not least:

8. he must love me as much as i love him (:

my perfect man is...

wait for it....

SABAR people, sabar.

5
4
3
2
1
.................................

HIM!!!! *points down* (or her or... yeahh, u get the point)

CHRIS CROCKER!

i was JUST kidding (: there's no such thing as my perfect man. He is obviously just a figment of my imagination.
oh wells.
dare to dream :D

anywoos,
I tag:
Joash Kong
Fion Wong
Gia
Charlene Bong
Sarah Ngui
Yan-Hui (Amanda)
Miyonite
Mushie